i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
