It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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