There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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