I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
