But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
