So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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