I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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