dude i'm inner monologue high
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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