I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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