You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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