After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
