worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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