Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
