Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
