wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
