we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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