my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
