i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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