so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
