Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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