what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
