Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
