Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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