GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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