mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
