I will die if light touches me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize