Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
