We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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