I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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