allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
