I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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