So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
