I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
