apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
