i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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