Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
