Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
