I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
