yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
