He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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