VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
