she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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