The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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