it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
