I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
