Do vagina's smell?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
