I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Drake has all the answers
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize