Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
