Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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(315): View more from New York

Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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(407): View more from Florida

Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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(310): View more from California

When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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(695): View more from

it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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(713): View more from Texas

If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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(937): View more from Ohio

I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.

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