He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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