so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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