You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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