i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
