I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
