the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize