I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
