Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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