Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize