I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
