We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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