Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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