lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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