One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
