Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
