I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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