he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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