awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
