Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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