okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
