I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
