Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize