just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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