I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
