and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
