i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
