she woke up with a sticky ear
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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