you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
