i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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