she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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